Monday madness

Today has been full of bad weather, clothes washing and book thieves (No, not the cute, blonde, German girl type).

This morning it would seem that the sun had been eaten by the clouds. I could basically almost hear Hagrid's deep, booming voice say 'difficult times lie ahead, Harry' as I looked out of the window.

This is basically enough to put anyone in a bad mood, because you know you're riding your bike in that windy weather later.. living right by the ocean does not improve the situation, at ALL.

I passed another milestone (This is going to sound very Rachel-ish), but I washed my clothes...ON MY OWN. True success takes form in me.

I didn't even drop something red in the white stuff, so I would say that I handled this really well.

Though this was my first reaction upon finding out how to wash my own clothes:

actual footage

Now onto the book thief, and what might have been my worst experience since coming here, and let me remind  you that we are not talking about this type of book thief:

We're not even talking about the cute, hobbit burglar type, like Bilbo.. No, we're talking about an limping, old woman, who stole my book. (!!!)

I was running after Lola, as you do, to tell her something really pointless and already forgotten, but since I was in a hurry, I left my book on a bench - which I of course would return to in what was supposed to be a minute.
As I talked to Lola, a man came jogging up to me and asked me if I placed my book on the bench, because a woman *points to limping woman leaving scene of crime* just took it and put it in her bag... and me being hopeful and naive as I am, thought she might just have assumed it had been left and was going to put it at the lost and found, so I jogged after her and when I finally reached her and got her attention, I asked her if she took the book on the bench, which she admitted to and I then told her it was mine and if I could have it back...and she told me no.

Being polite and non confrontation seeking, this situation was not exactly my favourite. I guess you can call it being a fish out of the water. So there I stood a little confused as she kept walking limping away from me, so I naturally started following her, because as you might know, my books are kind of special to me.

I asked her why she didn't want to give me my book back and she argued with it being on British ground and therefore it was the property of the British and that I should leave their country - basically a speech that would make any racist proud. I had the strangest urge to shout 'the British are coming, the British are coming!', though this would definitely not get me my book back.
I then changed tactics, figuring I could just annoy her until she gave me back my book, by following her and asking her for it. Yeah, this did not go as planned, as she kept limping away from the park.

THEN Batman and Robin arrived (Actually it was just the parent who informed me of the book thief and another parent). They told her to give me back my book, or they'd call the police.

Basically they were a lot more threatening and cool than me. I had a flashback to the FRIENDS episode where Rachel fights the old lady over the washing machine, ironically enough.

And she responded by throwing the book at me, me inwardly cringing as it hits the pavement, because she is not a talented thrower and probably wouldn't make it very far in The Hunger Games so there's that. HA.

And I was kind shaken a bit by the experience, more than what I thought, because when the two parents asked if I was okay and what she said to me, my voice did that weird thing where it's hard to talk, so yeah, this was a very unpleasant experience and today has not been my favourite....And it's only monday. 

This week is going to be great.

again, actual footage

Basically the only thing that makes this day the tiniest bit better, is the fact that I booked tickets to go home for a weekend in November as well, seeing as my aunt is having a baby and I would like to see him.
38 days, this means I'll only have to clean the bathrooms 5 more times before going home on a break. Hooray.

I really want some chocolate after this day, to be honest.

That will be all.

Over and out.

Love, Lea.

Pre-moving thoughts

Okay. To tell you a little thing about myself, it is that I have lived inside of my comfort zone my entire life. Well, or up until a few months ago. 
Hence why leaving is followed by loads of second thoughts, doubts and cold ballerina shoes.

Smack my ass and call me Augustus Waters, but oblivion has always bothered me. I don't know, it has always been important for me to leave a mark, or somehow make a difference, so if I died, there would be an echo of me somewhere.
A few years ago, I was obsessed with this quote:

,,They say you die twice; one time when you draw your last breath and a second time, a little later one, when someone says your name for the last time."

I obsessed over saying names of distant, dead relatives, or just names of dead people in case I could avoid the happening of that second death, it's weird. I know. I guess this went out of the window.

Anyway, to be honest.. it feels like I am dying. Cue teenage drama queen starts playing
People were constantly insisting on wanting to say 'goodbye' to me before leaving, which in the end kind of made me really stressed.
In the end, I didn't really want to talk to anyone about Brighton, and if someone dared to mention it, I'd snap their necks give them the eye of Sauron and throw a fit. This happened with my parents quite a lot, which isn't fair, but I was so blinded by selfish thoughts of how I was going to be alone in a foreign country (which I still AM very sad and scared of). I didn't really look beyond my own nose.
The only little break I did get, was when I was with Jacob, because he was the only one who didn't mention me going away. He made it easy to ignore the sound of the ticking clock in the background.. but when I was alone, not so much.
I needed time to mourn what I was leaving behind, but instead I kept being told what to feel and how grateful I should be.

The thing with leaving your life behind is like a coin - it has two sides.
I will now give you my version of a honest, brutal confession.

The thing is, it's weird leaving a whole life behind you and what is even weirder (and worse) is that life continues without you - this is a great struggle of mine.
Nicholas Sparks says that the scariest thing is that either they'll miss you, or they'll forget you. Which is true, I guess.
It's easy to imagine that your home town is on pause as you're out exploring the world (a little like in the old The Sims games), but it's not like that, it goes on, which is a cruel quote, because it is true.
Everyone has each other, they have something to fill the void, while you're on your own. You are alone with the pain. And even if you had friends to talk about your old friends to, it wouldn't matter. They couldn't care less about some people in a small country.
I guess an important question is, how do you keep up with two different worlds? I guess another cruel truth is that you don't, you'll have to keep the faith that they'll remember you. I guess the scary part is that sometimes they don't and sometimes it is the people closest to you, who let go.

I know this is a part of growing up and a part of life, but time flies, the world spins and sometimes it's difficult to get a grip on what you'll miss and what you're taking for granted. This is the truth. You don't know what you have until it's gone.
I'd never thought I'd miss this so much, or regret something I wished for for so long either, but here I am.
I guess this is also because you don't know what to expect.

Sometimes life gets untangled from your hands, because you and the universe aren't making the same plans, but don't fret. Life will reach out for you when you least expect it.
Home is behind, the world ahead.

That is all, folks.
Lea

ps. I guess I won't be posting again before leaving the country, so...