Monday madness

Today has been full of bad weather, clothes washing and book thieves (No, not the cute, blonde, German girl type).

This morning it would seem that the sun had been eaten by the clouds. I could basically almost hear Hagrid's deep, booming voice say 'difficult times lie ahead, Harry' as I looked out of the window.

This is basically enough to put anyone in a bad mood, because you know you're riding your bike in that windy weather later.. living right by the ocean does not improve the situation, at ALL.

I passed another milestone (This is going to sound very Rachel-ish), but I washed my clothes...ON MY OWN. True success takes form in me.

I didn't even drop something red in the white stuff, so I would say that I handled this really well.

Though this was my first reaction upon finding out how to wash my own clothes:

actual footage

Now onto the book thief, and what might have been my worst experience since coming here, and let me remind  you that we are not talking about this type of book thief:

We're not even talking about the cute, hobbit burglar type, like Bilbo.. No, we're talking about an limping, old woman, who stole my book. (!!!)

I was running after Lola, as you do, to tell her something really pointless and already forgotten, but since I was in a hurry, I left my book on a bench - which I of course would return to in what was supposed to be a minute.
As I talked to Lola, a man came jogging up to me and asked me if I placed my book on the bench, because a woman *points to limping woman leaving scene of crime* just took it and put it in her bag... and me being hopeful and naive as I am, thought she might just have assumed it had been left and was going to put it at the lost and found, so I jogged after her and when I finally reached her and got her attention, I asked her if she took the book on the bench, which she admitted to and I then told her it was mine and if I could have it back...and she told me no.

Being polite and non confrontation seeking, this situation was not exactly my favourite. I guess you can call it being a fish out of the water. So there I stood a little confused as she kept walking limping away from me, so I naturally started following her, because as you might know, my books are kind of special to me.

I asked her why she didn't want to give me my book back and she argued with it being on British ground and therefore it was the property of the British and that I should leave their country - basically a speech that would make any racist proud. I had the strangest urge to shout 'the British are coming, the British are coming!', though this would definitely not get me my book back.
I then changed tactics, figuring I could just annoy her until she gave me back my book, by following her and asking her for it. Yeah, this did not go as planned, as she kept limping away from the park.

THEN Batman and Robin arrived (Actually it was just the parent who informed me of the book thief and another parent). They told her to give me back my book, or they'd call the police.

Basically they were a lot more threatening and cool than me. I had a flashback to the FRIENDS episode where Rachel fights the old lady over the washing machine, ironically enough.

And she responded by throwing the book at me, me inwardly cringing as it hits the pavement, because she is not a talented thrower and probably wouldn't make it very far in The Hunger Games so there's that. HA.

And I was kind shaken a bit by the experience, more than what I thought, because when the two parents asked if I was okay and what she said to me, my voice did that weird thing where it's hard to talk, so yeah, this was a very unpleasant experience and today has not been my favourite....And it's only monday. 

This week is going to be great.

again, actual footage

Basically the only thing that makes this day the tiniest bit better, is the fact that I booked tickets to go home for a weekend in November as well, seeing as my aunt is having a baby and I would like to see him.
38 days, this means I'll only have to clean the bathrooms 5 more times before going home on a break. Hooray.

I really want some chocolate after this day, to be honest.

That will be all.

Over and out.

Love, Lea.

Wednesday Webbin'

Hollaaaaaaaaa, I've been up in da club.. for realz, yo.

actual footage of me dancing

Okay, I actually have been clubbing, as mentioned in my previous post. This marvellous event went down with two other vikings au pairs, Julia and Mia, whom are both a pair of very nice and drunk girls.

It was alright. I mean, definitely an experience in itself, but I must say I prefer clubbing in my home town. I mean, who has snakes in nightclubs? (??????????!!!!!!!!)
There is really nothing more worthy to mention than those snakes. What is up with that?

If you look past my wild youth, I have solved the hugest mystery of the century. Are you ready? To be honest, I don't think you are, but here we go anyway:

I have solved how to avoid Art and Lola becoming hysteric and drama queen-y when biking home....... you simply shoot off as many Harry Potter facts as you can - this will result in them forgetting what we're doing and you can basically get off the hook with anything as long as you remember this magic trick (get it? get iiiit?)

EXPELLIARMUS CRYING!

In other news; I've also experienced that sometimes certain feelings just bring you down, no matter how cool, hip and fresh you are - what I also learned is that making a 'feels' playlist is a very good cure.

I mean, I made one before I left Denmark, I made one when all the things with Jacob went down the hobbit hole and I made one a few nights ago, when I tried figuring out what exactly was going on in my life.
So.. if you need to know what I pleasure my ears with during this recent period of time (and even if you don't), I'll leave it here for you (please note that this is in no particular order, or maybe it is? I don't think I'm enough of an adult to really know, I need an adultier adult plz?!):

• Ed Sheeran - Photograph
• The Script - For The First Time
• Demi Lovato - In Case
• The 1975 - Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You?
• Coldplay - Magic
• Bastille - Oblivion
• Kodaline - High Hopes
• The Script - Superheroes
• Ed Sheeran - Wake Me Up
• The Script - Hail Rain or Sunshine
• The 1975 - Settle Down
• Taylor Swift - Long Live
• Coldplay - Fix You
• Oasis - Wonderwall
• Taylor Swift - State Of  Grace
• Ed Sheeran - All Of The Stars (as I'm writing this song, I'm realizing how long this list is)
• Jonas Brothers - Turn Right
• Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up
• Avril Lavigne - I Will Be 
• Birdy - Light Me Up
• Taylor Swift - Mine
• Avril Lavigne - I'm With You
• Ellie Goulding - How Long Will I Love You
• Adele - Make You Feel My Love
• Demi Lovato - Nightingale
• Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud (I can't listen to this without crying, so I usually skip it)
• Ariana Grande - Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart
• Mcfly feat. Taio Cruz - Shine A Light 

Okay. Looking back at this, I realize it's quite the peculiar mess and I would most likely not be allowed to ever DJ any party, but it's good for reading and dealing with feels, so feel free to have a listen.
pssshhhttt

In more exciting and other news; I'm going home in 71 days to party in well known surroundings with all my old friends and I couldn't be more excited, which is kind of a shame really.. but yeah, I'm very excited to be inside V-town's small borders again.
Home is where the heart is and my heart is currently getting drunk at 'Det lille' (they don't have snakes, which is the point in this deep quote)

Speaking of deep quotes, just yesterday I remembered this one that was printed on my soap (wow! I know) a few years ago:

,,Listening to the birds sing, waiting for the rain"

This quote has become something to me, it has reached a point of relevance... I am basically walking around in autumn clothing in summer weather. I repeat, I am wearing hot clothes in hot weather, because I was deceived to believe that it would rain a lot by now.
It has been a lie. I repeat, it has all been a lie.
I am very much waiting for the rain.

On a serious note and therefore a more serious quote, I am leaving you with this quote to ponder until I post again, because it's become one of my favourites and I'm obsessed with it basically.

- Beau Taplin

I'll leave you with this, work is calling my holy name.

Love, Lea.

ps. this is what I look like animal-fied

Shake it off

SO... long time, no blogging.... today has been horrid, to say the least... but I'm gonna take advice from good ol' T-Sweezy and shake it off.

You see, right now, I don't particularly fancy (that's British slang for want, get innn) seeing another child for 5 years, seeing as I suffered from the worst day in the 'life of an Au Pair''s history.
This involved screaming, crying and a broken bike.
While I wanted to do this:

I probably ended up being more like this:

I will take all of this as an opportunity to shape and mature... Yeah, right. This is what you all want to hear, but currently I am sitting in my room eating Cadbury chocolate, like the grown woman I am. You see, I actually wanted to eat Marabou chocolate, but apparently the country that is England don't sell other chocolate than Cadbury and Nestlé and I will tell you this; Cadbury is the worst excuse for chocolate in this world. You heard read me. Life is hard on the other side of the ocean.

ANYWAY, a few days ago I went out to eat with a lovely, Finnish au pair called Mia, whom I'm going clubbing with tomorrow evening, along with a Swedish Au pair, so it will be like the vikings invading Britain all over again.

They are very determined on getting very drunk and finding that lovely, British guy, but since I am not (and have discovered that he doesn't exist), I will work as the ultimate wing woman... and I will be looking like this in the corner of Pryzm:

I have been here for two weeks now, time has passed quickly, though I'm working so hard that it actually feels as if I've been here for at least a month.

I have lots of mixed feelings concerning this party tomorrow, because I'm so used to being amongst my best friends and now here I am in a foreign country, going clubbing with two girls, who are practically strangers. It will be different; it's just that I'm unsure of whether it'll be a good, or bad different.

I guess time will tell and I will be the first to admit which of the above it is.

I hope my mum reads this and sees how much Taylor Swift there is on the internet, so she'll be cured from her newfound internet and social media obsession, which results in me being able to say that my blog helps cure people from mental disorders. 

That is all for today, I think. 

I'm going on another adventure tomorrow, too... this marvellous, amazing adventure consists of trying to find a pair of pants to a decent price.

Love, Lea.

PS. British boys:

except for the boy with the hella good hair

Heartbreak hiatus

It appears as if I have returned, well not really as if, because this is a post and I am here and I am ready to talk.

As some of you might know, I returned to Denmark this weekend due personal issues and I am willing to let you all in on the gossip.
You see, last week was a little hard and this feels as if I am embarrassing myself, but I promised to be honest on this blog.
Jacob broke up with me... and it's okay. It's okay.

THOUGH THIS GIF IS SO FAR FROM OKAY, OKAY?

There's a few things you don't know about the relationship, yes, it was and felt foolishly perfect, but it was also only meant to last for two months, meaning the time before I left to go here. It can't be planned, this I know now, but you will never find me saying that I regret these past two months of my life. I am so lucky for all I have been given.
To quote The Fault In Our Stars (as we're already kind of in there and it's just brilliant okay pun unintended):

"Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them. But that's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway."

You see, I will go back to this quote in a bit, after I have informed you of the following: I have learned a lot about myself during this breakup. I am not a Taylor Swift. I repeat, I am not a Taylor Swift. I had a tiny, teenie, weenie Taylor Swift moment, which has embarrassed me endlessly, but I'd like to think I have been really mature about all of this.
You see (back to the quote) it's no secret that I care a lot about Jacob. Like a lot. But upon leaving, I also told him I would put the ball in his basket and he could get to decide what would happen. And he did, for personal reasons, which resulted in my minor Taylor Swift moment, but also lead me to the epiphany that I cared for him enough to want him happy and to want the best for him, and if going through with his wish would make him happy, then that was what I was going to do.

You see, I have learned a few things. Disappointment brings out the worst in people, so you need to look beyond your own little nose and see where people are coming from.
Anyway, I travelled back home to talk it through with him, because some things are not meant for skype.

I already knew what I wanted from this, which was his friendship. We used to be best friends and I need that in my life, if that's the least I can get. He is one of the most brilliant people I have ever met and I am not, or was ready to let that go, but it would seem that we're both on the same page when it comes to that.
I am fortunate to have him in my life.

I had another epiphany (yes, I know, hold your horses!), I found this whole thing a lot easier to deal with, when I started focusing on all the good things and how much joy it has brought me and how much I learned about myself and the odd pleasure of fully giving yourself to another human being.
You know, another way to deal is also to realise that some things are out of your hands; sometimes you have got to have hope that there is a bigger plan, this meaning that if it's meant to happen, it will happen eventually at the right time.. and if not, then you shouldn't worry. Don't worry about things you cannot change. Life is unpredictable.

Yes, it's hard. Especially writing this post, it makes me very emotional, in spite of feeling mature about it. It's incredibly hard to know you can't touch them the same way, or be there in the same way, but that's where hope comes in. Hope is what keeps you alive. Hope is what will pull you through.
I guess a truth about sadness is, that it isn't caused by other people really, but rather because you feel all hope leave you and you find the world dark and unbearable, because how could you ever go on - but sadness leaves you eventually, because hope finds it's way back.
Letting go in order to be unselfish will hurt you the most, this I know, but knowing it will be for all the right reasons, will be there to mend you in the end.
And I'll have you all know, that I see Jacob as my best friend still, and it would seem we have it all worked out now, which is good. I am grateful.

So this was very honest, quite hard to formulate and I am crying a little, but in the end, I am proud of myself and how I'm handling this.

I'll keep you updated.
Love, Lea.

Brighton Adventures

To be homesick, or not to be homesick.. I think that's a famous Shakespeare quote. Yeah right.

I am going to start this post by admitting that I fell down the hole. The big, deep, dark and horrible hole of homesickness. This huge event took place Friday evening and it was not very funny. Period.
I am admitting this to you, not because it is a golden moment in my life, but to tell you that it is okay. It is very okay to be homesick and miss your old life.
You might as well werk it.

I think the root of all this madness is that I have no routine and I don't quite feel at home yet... and I miss my friends.
Jacob takes a lot of time off to skype me, as do my family and Rebecca, so this one goes out to skype: thank you for making it easier to communicate with my loved ones, now please make it work a little smoother. I guess you can't have everything, eh?

Anyway, I awoke to a sunny day on Saturday and I felt a little better, I had a huge adventure planned, which consisted of going to the city centre to take a look around.
This I did and I am officially obsessed with the pier.

I quickly learned that they're obsessed with Adventure Time here, so I found a little thing for Jacob, because he is the huge-st fan. Yes, you can use the word 'huge' that way.
Anyway, I basically walked around all day and I felt much better when I was actually out doing stuff.

This lead to this adventurous chick joining a facebook group for au pairs, which means I went on another adventure on Sunday and even managed to meet up with some other Au Pair girls... WOOT, WOOT. This is the part of my adventure where I am Harry Potter and the rest are Ron Weasley.

They were incredibly nice, so I am definitely going to be seeing them again.


Things my weekend of adventures taught me (seeing as all adventure-ers learn stuff on their quests):

• How to eat alone: No, it is not as embarrassing as it sounds.
• If lost, just walk around: You will eventually find the clock tower, I promise.
• 'Cheers' is the new black: Everyone says it. Don't hesitate. Don't question. Just do it.
• Everyone's style is strange: If you want to fit in, you might as well dye your hair purple now.
• The radio only plays good music: It's true. It is a bliss. Jam time every minute.
• The english-hot-guy-with-an-fabulous-accent-who-proves-chivalry-isn't-dead doesn't exist: devastated.
• The money is weird: if you have the chance, give them notes. Coins are a mystery.

That is all, folks.

Now on to the next part: today was my first 4-REAL day... and it was catastrophic. 4-REAL.

Like the quiet before the storm, it all started out very well; I woke up motivated and ready to take on the day and all the opportunities it would bring.. did I say opportunities? I meant ways to get worn out. 

It would seem that my lack of luck has followed me across the sea.

I had to put up clean clothes to dry outside, which sounds easy enough, right? Yep.. would be a shame if the string snapped after you hung all the clothes up, wouldn't it? Yep...snaps in 1...2...3.

This meant collecting all the clothes from the ground and learning that hell takes it's true form in the shopping centre that is ASDA. It's like Narnia, no one knows their way around.

Well, upon entering ASDA, I was already confused. There was no type of order and I had to find a new string.

After walking around for a little under an hour, I managed to find a string... it would be a shame if it was to short, now wouldn't it? Snap.

So I returned without a string and had to go upstairs and take the clothes from the indoor thingy and carry it outside and start hanging the clothes up all over again..

All of this took approximately 2,5 hours. Great.

To make all of this even better, Brighton has apparently been transported to Westeros, because the weather is like in the red waste. Unbearable.

So when I finally had time to catch my breath, I had to go pick up the children, who are very much like the dogs from the Pixar movie 'Up' when they hear the word park.

So today has been spend running around Brighton being sweaty whilst screaming my head off at Lola and Art, who are the fastest children I know. I think this is why they aren't allowed sugar.

So this will be all.

Goodbye from a very worn out Lea.

Love, Lea.

Brighton, baby

Home is behind, the world ahead.. and running, just like my nose.
Wot, I'm in Brighton, get it in ye' fookin' 'ead.

Yesterday was surreal to say at least, today is just as surreal.
It all started with saying goodbye to my siblings, then off to the airport to part with my mum, Rebecca and Jacob, which went awfully well.

I guess it was hard to get it into my big head that I was leaving them for real and also because I think I kinda came to a point in my mind where I was not really sad (well, before looking at mum, Jacob and Rebecca through the glass) but rather at peace with it. It's as if you've got to have confidence that everything will work out in the end, especially if it's out of your hands. Right now, it's out of my hands and I'll miss him. God, I'll miss him. But I hope it'll work out.
It's like realizing that you have reached the point of no return, like the hero in all movies.

Anyway, no tears in the start, which almost got me to believe that 'The Fault In Our Stars' turned my heart cold forever..especially with them standing there, all sad smiles, but when I got through security check and was behind the glass doors, it hit me. Like a big ol' tidal wave.

I tried keeping it together and avoiding to look at them, but I had to go up a pair of stairs, where you could see them perfectly clear.. this was when I had to leave them and it hit me really hard and I cried as I walked through the airport. Embarrassing.

But as soon as I got on the plane, I knew I had to channel my inner Katniss Everdeen and be strong, so I stopped crying and sat staring for 30 minutes until we eventually landed in Copenhagen.

Here I started walking confused around until I eventually learned the tricks of travelling without your parents. He he he.

As soon as I got onto the plane, I slept until I arrived in Gatwick Airport. This airport is a mystery and I basically just tried to follow the crowd, which went okay, so always follow the crowd (!!!)

I don't know if I was on some kind of adrenaline rush from conquering the big 'travelling alone thing',  or because Jacob told me I was not the whiny Khaleesi, but the badass Khaleesi but finding the train to Brighton didn't shake my spirit, so I found it without problems.
I took the train and felt like I was in Harry Potter, which I wasn't. I didn't wind up at Hogwarts, but rather Brighton station, where I clueless-ly walked around to find one of my bosses, Mette, which eventually happened, I guess she was looking for a person looking like a confused pigeon.

THEN we went to pick up Lola and Art from their first day of school, which was a little bit like the hunger games. So many children.

Lola and Art seemed shy at first, but as soon as they learned I had games on my cellphone they turned into small chihuahuas. We all know that chihuahuas can't be controlled.

Turns out they're huge the hobbit fans, so I'm looking forward to going to the cinema with them in December.

Now, to the personal stuff.

Chris, Mette, Lola and Art are all really lovely and welcome-y, but I'm the type of person who kind of struggles a lot when it comes to feeling at home in strangers houses. I'm suspecting it'll change when I start working for real, seeing as today has only been following the kids to school (Have to pick them up in 3 hours), and emptying the dishwasher.

Thankfully I got to talk to Jacob on skype last night, which makes it all feel a little bit easier.

Right now it all feels really foreign as well, wish makes it a little harder, especially knowing that neither my mum, or Jacob, or Rebecca is coming around in a bit and making it all a little bit more okay.

In this situation, you'll have to ask yourself; WWKD?

(if you're not familiar with the term, it means 'What would Katniss do', or 'What would Khaleesi do', kinda depends on the mood and level of badass-ness)

In this case, what Katniss would do was adapt. So I'm going to try.

I'll talk to you all soon, as I'll be busy trying to get by.

Love, Lea.

Brighton bound

Hello.
It's me again.

As promised in my last post, I have returned. This is because I am travelling to Brighton tomorrow morning and will then be located there for a long time.
Not as long as Gollum was in the misty mountains, but close enough.

hopefully I wont lose my teeth and hair

Anyway, it would seem that the past few days have  been cut shorter than the days that are to come or maybe it's just me, but I'll sum them up for you:

Photo credit: http://instagram.com/p/sQLdbXD1xR/?modal=true

• Thursday: a perfect, chill day with Jacob and his family. Lovely.
• Friday: played a Harry Potter drinking game with my friend Emma before we went down to the local pub to drink my sorrows away and say goodbye to my friends - this was very fun. Got to go home with Jacob, whom I begun the quest of riding a bike home drunk in the middle of the night with. Did I mention I was drunk?
• Saturday: double date with my best friend Rebecca, her boyfriend Kenneth and Jacob. We didn't really need wheels after that, we could have used our bodies, but the comfort of a car was still very nice.
• Sunday: my aunt's birthday and a farewell to my family members.
• Monday: Jacob and I have been living at each other's houses the past week, so it was spent with him. Doing what, I'm not really sure actually.
• Tuesday: Dining with my family and Jacob, this being the last evening I had with Jacob, I also went to say goodbye to his family, who all wants to see me in December, so this is good news. Now I just need to make sure Jacob doesn't run off.
• Wednesday: this morning was the last morning I am going to have with Jacob in months, because of a poorly planned school trip, so it was emotional, but I didn't cry. This is good. Not really, this means I'll cry enough water to sink Atlantis all over again tomorrow.
  Today has been spent packing up my life (no, this doesn't mean I stuffed all my friends in my suitcase.. but I would if I could #NoShame)
  

Today's thoughts are really simple: I don't really want to go.
The big looming, scary and mysterious future is ahead and I quite honestly don't know what will happen to this life and the people in it, but I hope at least some of it stay the same.

This is a temporary thing - this I am sure of, but right now the thought of how long the stay is and how much I am going to miss my friends is almost unbearable, BUT I also know it'll get easier in time - even if it feels like I'm Rachel and I can't get off the plane. Even if Rebecca calls to warn about the phalange.

Tomorrow is somewhat simple. Being driven to the airport by my mum, Rebecca and Jacob, where I'll travel from Billund to Copenhagen to Gatwick to Brighton.
It sounds somewhat easy, but I guess it always does before you find yourself in Timbuktu.

It'll all be fine. Except for the fact that I'll need salt water donations for my eyes.

Before I leave, I'd like to give you a little piece of advice:
If you ever find yourself in my situation, know it's important to talk it through with your partner and make sure both don't get caught up in the stressing situation and end up being annoyed with each other because of it. It sucks, you're both aware of that, but focus on the good.

It's important. It's really important.

I'll update you tomorrow evening when I'm in the U to the K. Oh gosh, they are going to hate me.

Love, Lea.

ps. I'll leave you with this. (because I am going to miss this idiot)

Pre-moving thoughts

Okay. To tell you a little thing about myself, it is that I have lived inside of my comfort zone my entire life. Well, or up until a few months ago. 
Hence why leaving is followed by loads of second thoughts, doubts and cold ballerina shoes.

Smack my ass and call me Augustus Waters, but oblivion has always bothered me. I don't know, it has always been important for me to leave a mark, or somehow make a difference, so if I died, there would be an echo of me somewhere.
A few years ago, I was obsessed with this quote:

,,They say you die twice; one time when you draw your last breath and a second time, a little later one, when someone says your name for the last time."

I obsessed over saying names of distant, dead relatives, or just names of dead people in case I could avoid the happening of that second death, it's weird. I know. I guess this went out of the window.

Anyway, to be honest.. it feels like I am dying. Cue teenage drama queen starts playing
People were constantly insisting on wanting to say 'goodbye' to me before leaving, which in the end kind of made me really stressed.
In the end, I didn't really want to talk to anyone about Brighton, and if someone dared to mention it, I'd snap their necks give them the eye of Sauron and throw a fit. This happened with my parents quite a lot, which isn't fair, but I was so blinded by selfish thoughts of how I was going to be alone in a foreign country (which I still AM very sad and scared of). I didn't really look beyond my own nose.
The only little break I did get, was when I was with Jacob, because he was the only one who didn't mention me going away. He made it easy to ignore the sound of the ticking clock in the background.. but when I was alone, not so much.
I needed time to mourn what I was leaving behind, but instead I kept being told what to feel and how grateful I should be.

The thing with leaving your life behind is like a coin - it has two sides.
I will now give you my version of a honest, brutal confession.

The thing is, it's weird leaving a whole life behind you and what is even weirder (and worse) is that life continues without you - this is a great struggle of mine.
Nicholas Sparks says that the scariest thing is that either they'll miss you, or they'll forget you. Which is true, I guess.
It's easy to imagine that your home town is on pause as you're out exploring the world (a little like in the old The Sims games), but it's not like that, it goes on, which is a cruel quote, because it is true.
Everyone has each other, they have something to fill the void, while you're on your own. You are alone with the pain. And even if you had friends to talk about your old friends to, it wouldn't matter. They couldn't care less about some people in a small country.
I guess an important question is, how do you keep up with two different worlds? I guess another cruel truth is that you don't, you'll have to keep the faith that they'll remember you. I guess the scary part is that sometimes they don't and sometimes it is the people closest to you, who let go.

I know this is a part of growing up and a part of life, but time flies, the world spins and sometimes it's difficult to get a grip on what you'll miss and what you're taking for granted. This is the truth. You don't know what you have until it's gone.
I'd never thought I'd miss this so much, or regret something I wished for for so long either, but here I am.
I guess this is also because you don't know what to expect.

Sometimes life gets untangled from your hands, because you and the universe aren't making the same plans, but don't fret. Life will reach out for you when you least expect it.
Home is behind, the world ahead.

That is all, folks.
Lea

ps. I guess I won't be posting again before leaving the country, so...